One More Step
by melroihag
Summary: *CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS FROM 5X08* Killian and DarkSwan have a discussion after she saves him from... (read to find out)


Killian stood on the roof of the library, watching the blue cloudless sky turn to a tropical blend of orange, pink and even a little yellow still from where the sun was just slipping beyond the horizon.

Breathing a heavy sigh, the small voice in his head asked him why he was here. Instead of dwelling on the reason for why he was standing motionless on top of the building, he nodded to himself slowly and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket for his flask.

He sat down, head tilted up to the sky as he tossed the flask back and groaned slightly as the burn of rum slid down his throat.

He hadn't had much of the stuff since they'd returned from Camelot. Every now and again he'd have just a sip, but not tonight. Tonight, Killian Jones was going to finish the flask for the first time in a long, long time.

Time passed and a chill carried in the wind. The bright and colourful sky turning dark, slowly but surely. _'How ironic.'_ he thought, a self-deprecating laugh shaking through him.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Killian's entire body stiffened when he heard the familiar voice, sound from behind him.

Killian squinted as he glanced up. The man standing before him had curly light brown hair and light blue eyes. 'Liam' he whispered, his throat suddenly dry.

Liam took a seat beside Killian, bumping his shoulder against his and wrapping his arms around his knees, tucking them to his chest.

"You're not really here. You're dead." Killian shook his head, taking another swig of the rum and facing forward.

"Ah, ah, ah… Don't you think you've drank enough of that for a lifetime already, Mate?" Liam teased as he pinched the flask from Killian's shaking fingers, taking a sip from it and wincing.

"You're not really here." Killian repeated, closing his eyes.

"Of course, I'm not you idiot." Liam threw his head back, laughing lightly.

Killian glared at him, breathing slowly through his nose to calm down. "If you're not here-here, than why are you here." Killian asked, raising a brow as he confused even himself.

Liam put a hand on Killian's shoulder and smiled like he used to. His proud big-brotherly grin making Killian's heart sink in his chest. "Don't strain yourself, Brother." he winked. "I'm here because what you're planning to do it foolish and you know it." he tilted his head disapprovingly.

Killian swallowed loudly and shrugged his shoulders, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you dare do it." Liam's voice was that of a Captain. Authority dripping from each word. Killian's ears pricked up at that as he heard the Liam's voice stronger now. He peered over at his brother to find a stern look fixed to his face.

"Who's exactly going to stop me? Huh?" Killian spat back, his anger building drastically.

Liam sighed heavily and scrubbed his hand over his face, "What was it you used to say? 'A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets'?" he raised a brow questioningly.

Killian's eyes narrowed as his own words were used against him. He felt an ache in his chest begin to throb. "Perhaps, _Brother_ " he said through gritted teeth, "This is the exact reason why I'm doing this." he stood up too quickly and stumbled on his legs.

Liam rose at the same time, his hands up defensively, but outstretched in a silent offer to steady his little brother. Killian watched as his brother eyes him carefully, studying him.

"Would you ever stop that?" he shouted, the built up anger finally unleashing.

"Stop what?" Liam shrugged his shoulders, feigning ignorance.

A growl rumbled low in Killian's throat and he took a few wobbly steps to the edge of the building.

"Killian Jones, stop this _right_ now." Liam's tone was dangerous. He was at his brothers side in a flash his glare was an unspoken warning.

Killian closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the wind blew. The bite of the evening breeze making his eyes widen slightly before he exhaled with a shrug. "I'm sorry, Brother." his voice cracked as he took a step up onto the ledge and glanced down at his brother. Clearing his throat, he carried on, "I'm sorry I failed you. But I won't do this to Emma. If my demise is what will help bring her out of this bloody darkness, then that is what I will do." he nodded just the once, inching his feet closer to the edge.

"Killian, you can't be serious." he said disbelievingly as Killian shot him a look that said _'does it look like I'm bluffing?'_ Liam took a careful step closer to him now, "You'll find another way. Don't do this, Brother!" Liam pleaded.

Killian listened patiently, letting his brother's words sink in. "You've been gone a long time, Brother." he breathed quietly, closing his eyes. "I've had to make my peace with that. Although I haven't quite fully just yet, I do know that she has made everything hurt a little less. Made everything feel whole again." he admitted, scratching behind his ear nervously as the confession left his lips.

He brought his gaze to his brother who was smiling apologetically at him."I'm glad you have her." Liam said taking another careful step closer.

Killian huffed a laugh, "Don't you mean 'had'? 'Had her'?" he shook his head and spotted Liam out of the corner of his eye. "Emma's the only family I have left." Killian's voice was a broken whisper, "I have to do this. For her." he smiled apologetically at Liam. "I love you, Brother." he sighed, closing his eyes before dangling the pointed ends of his boots over the edge of the library.

"Emma Swan!" he shouted half-heartedly.

"Killian, what are you doing?" Liam asked confused.

"Emma Swan!" Killian's voice grew louder.

"Seriously Brother? You look like a bloody lunatic!" Liam hissed.

"EMMA SWAN!" Killian's voice rang out, echoing off of the buildings that lined main street.

Moments passed and Emma hadn't showed. His brother had gone quiet, behind him. Killian glanced behind him and found that Liam was nothing was a whisper from his lips on the evening's breeze. He spotted his empty flask toppled over on the ground about a foot away, but he shrugged. _'Not gonna need it.'_ he thought to himself before throwing his head back to look up at the sky. Just then, the constellation of Cygnus sparkled in the skies before his very eyes.

"Swan." he breathed as her smile entered his head, her laugh echoing in his mind. A small smile curved his lips as he closed his eyes, leant forward and took that final step off.

Killian felt the coolness of the evening breeze sift through his hair as he plummeted, headfirst to what he was sure would be a fast and somewhat painless end. That was until his feet planted themselves firmly on the concrete of the path just outside of the Marine garage.

The swirl of dark fog vanished within second and he was stood facing the last person he expected to show up.

Killian watched as the shadows danced across Emma's face from the dimly lit street lamps, with each calculated step she took toward him. He watched the way her movements were just a little snappier than the woman he fell in love with. Her wrist came up, flicking within the blink of an eye to fix the collar of his jacket.

Killian swayed on the spot slightly and he watched as a flash of amusement simmered behind her serious expression.

Emma bit down on the inside of her cheek after just a moment and tilted her head, "Just where do you think you're going?" she asked, her tone curious. Her eyebrow raised as she dropped her hand and raised her chin, prompting him to answer.

Killian puffed his chest out, swaying a little more before he cleared his throat and tried to sound casual. "You seem to be a little late to the party, Darling." his tone was not friendly as he stared her down.

"Actually," she took a step toward him once more and peered up at him from beneath her lashes, her glare was icy. "I'd say I was right on time." she look across the road and to the top of the building she'd just saved him mid-falling from. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?" she folded her arms over her chest.

The alcohol in his system was slurring his speech just a little and when he breathed out, she rolled her eyes, smelling the rum on him.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked, his tone accusatory but he was genuinely curious and she could tell.

Her eyes softened the tiniest bit and her hard exterior faltered ever-so-slightly, before she answered "Do what?"

"Save me!" he spat with a self-deprecating laugh.

Emma's eyes darkened at the sound and moved to stand exact in front of him. "Just why would you think I wouldn't?" her tone was accusatory now.

Killian huffed and scratched behind his ear now, "Forgive me, but I don't believe _you_ have the right to be annoyed now, _do you_?" he asked, his eyes flaring with anger now, his hand balled into a fist at his side.

"Considering the man I love just tried to jump off a _building_ , I think I have every right." she matched his volume now, her anger unleashing just as much as his.

Killian took a step back stumbling, his eyes wide with confusion as she absentmindedly reached for his arm, her slender fingers clasping around his wrist, holding him upright.

"What? What did you say?" he asked in disbelief, his chest heaving as he gasped for air.

Emma felt his breath wash over her, she drank in his rum coated scent before she sighed, suddenly realising what he meant. _'He thinks I don't love him anymore?'_ she thought to herself.

"I said, you tried to jump off a building. I have every right to be here." she looked away, at the ground beside his feet, but her hand on his wrist never loosened.

"Because… you… love me?" he was putting the pieces together slowly and Emma tapped her foot impatiently as she raised her gaze to meet his impossibly blue eyes once more. "Yes." was all she said. Her face hard and her voice mirrored that.

Killian nodded and Emma caught a glimpse of the broken pirate behind his eyes. Her heart clenched in her chest. The urge to reach out and touch him was getting harder and harder to ignore with each heartbeat.

"You don't think I love you." she said nodding, more of an accusation or statement than a question.

"Can you blame me for being uncertain?" he raised a brow and a sense of de ja vu overcame them both in the same moment. Flashing images of them both in the hospital after her brother was born.

Emma could tell he was seeing it too because his lips quirked up into a crooked smirk, and she released an involuntary breath when his eyes bore into hers seconds later.

He closed his eyes and took a step toward her, swaying again. She didn't expect it when he opened his eyes and saw all the pain he'd ever endured shine through. His forehead creasing slightly and his eyes brimming with unshed tears. The subtle glisten of them distracting her from his sudden proximity. "You used me." he said, his brows pulling together, "You used _us…_ _against_ me to get that cutlass." he waisted for her to object, and when she didn't his face went blank. Half blinking he shook his head slowly. "Another thing?" his voice raised a little more and she could tell he was nowhere near done. "You have dreamcatchers in that bloody shed of yours." Killian hissed, making her flinch ever-so-slightly. "Dreamcatchers remind you of Baelfire." he said it matter-of-factly, staring her down again.

Emma waited for the glint of rage to fade from his eyes before she spoke. "You're right." she nodded, clearing her throat and Killian shook his head, raking a hand through his hair as he laughed at himself.

"They do remind me of Neal. But that's not why I made them." her brows pulled together in a frown as she knew the next words would tumble out of her mouth, before she had the chance to stop them. "Neal left me, pregnant and in jail. I didn't think I'd ever feel that lonely again, that was until those I loved the most stop trusting me. Stopped talking to me." she fixed her gaze on the drain on the side of the curb. "People tolerated Gold, even when he was the Dark One. None of them could barely look at me. None of them gave me a chance." she said through clenched teeth and realised Killian was considering her words, from the slight tilt of his head as she spoke. "The dreamcatchers I made are powerful magical objects. And yes, when I made them, I was lonely. It took me right back to being that 18 year old again, sitting in that cell holding a pregnancy test with a huge red plus sign that seared itself behind my eyelids, reminding me every night when I'd go to sleep."

She shook out of her trance and looked up at him, "I also _did_ need the cutlass." she continued and he stopped to rock back on his heels, shoving his hand into his pocket and swung his hook idly by his side. "I needed it because I needed to wake Gold up. I needed something that touched him when he was still a man, still that coward." she paused when his brow raised.

"Why did you need Gold in the first place?" he asked quietly.

"Because if nobody would trust me, I needed someone who was helpless to otherwise." she shrugged and let go of his wrist. "I had this whole thing planned from the start. Things have gotten messy and I know that parts on me, but I've done all this for you. For us." she heard the vulnerability in her voice and saw his hand reach out for hers.

She laced their fingers together and he brought them up to rest over his heart. "Why did you tell me?" he breathed and smell of alcohol on his breath was stronger now.

"I tried." she tilted her head and reached up to thumb the dark circles under his eyes.

Moments passed and she watched as he leant into her touch, the scruff of his slightly overgrown beard tickling her palm. He had his eyes closed and for just a second longer she let herself bask in the quiet moment.

"Why did you jump?" her voice was a broken whisper.

Killian's impossibly blue eyes opened at the fragile voice that escape her, he watched as her bottom lip trembled and her eyes glistened in the light coming from flickering lamppost.

Emma watched his Adam's apple bob up and down slowly, watched the dent in his forehead appear as he chose his next words carefully.

"I thought… well, I thought if there was even a small piece of you that still loved me, than maybe you'd somehow try harder to come back to the light?" his voice raised at the end and he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That, wait that didn't come out right." he sighed impatiently and Emma saw the muscle in his jaw twitch violently.

She pressed herself close to him, brushing the hair out of his eyes and the understanding on her face spoke more than words could say.

"It's because of the very fact _that_ I love you, that I'm doing all of this." she dropped her hand and clasped them behind her back.

Killian tilted his head, his eyes flickering from lips to her eyes, his own eyes widening in disbelief as she said those three little words, again, the ones that hold a heavy and deeper meaning to both of them.

"I want our Happy Ending, Killian." she whispered, her shoulders relaxing a fraction as she waited with baited breath for his reaction. The uncertainty in her eyes had him thinking that he'd imagined it for a second.

Instead of ruining the moment with foolish words that meant nothing at this minute in time, he reached out for her hand and nodded toward her to let him behind that wall that was starting to rebuild around her.

Emma's cool fingers found comfort against the warmth of his, intertwining as he pulled her toward him gently, still swaying from the amount of rum he'd drank earlier on. He linked her arm through his and began a slow pace down the street, his gaze on the floor.

"Where are we going?" she asked and Killian sensed her nerves.

A smirk played on his lips as he turned to face her casually, dropping her hand to twine their fingers together again. He began walking backwards as he grinned up at her, "You have this all planned out?" he asked in a tone that was _'you're sure about this?'_ as he raised an eyebrow.

Emma nodded and sighed in relief when he nodded accepting her response. He stumbled backward a few times, forcing her to tug him toward her to keep him from falling over.

"Where are we going?" she asked again when she knew he'd forgotten her question, he was that drunk.

"Ah, yes!" he nodded dramatically and she shook her head. Drunk Killian was quite amusing sometimes. He scratching behind his ear with his hook before answering, "Well, I was thinking we go home."

"Home?" she raised a brow and chewed her lip to try and stop the small smile that formed.

"You know the one, Lass. The one with the white picket fence." he teased and squeezed her hand lightly.

"I think so." she played along and her cheeks hurt from smiling. A flutter in her chest reminded her that she hadn't smiled this much in a long time.

Emma watched from the corner of her eye as Killian's grin made his dimples stand out, and the sight made her pulse quicken. A twinge in her stomach reminded her how much she'd missed this. The easy banter and earth-shattering smiles. She sighed contently and quietly before resting her head on his shoulder. That sense of de ja vu washing over her again.

Killian looked up to the heavens and smiled fondly at the twinkling constellations above. Cygnus catching his attention instantly, making warmth spread throughout him.

'Love you, Brother.' he nodded before slipping back into pace with her, his gaze fixed on the path ahead.

Emma squeezed his hand gently, she knew he was deep in thought and didn't want to push him too far this evening. She felt him press a feather-light kiss to her forehead. She didn't need to look up at him to know that it was a silent 'thank you' he'd just given her.

"We'll get through this." Killian breathed and Emma tightened her grip on his arm just a little more. Her heart stuttering at his use of _'we'll'_.

" _We_ will." she agreed as the last of her walls crumbled to dust.


End file.
